For the Kid with a Gun

Hi,

You don't know me. I'm just some random adult on the internet who is thinking about you today.

I am wondering if you will be inspired by the school shooting yesterday in Highlands Ranch.

I am wondering if you have spent today on the Internet, looking up the details of Columbine, Sandy Hook, Parkland, Arapahoe and imagining yourself with the gun, wandering through the hallways, shooting your fellow students, your teachers, your principal.

I am wondering how the fantasy ends for you -- shot down in a blaze of glory? Wrestled to the ground and walked out in cuffs? Blasting off your own head with your final round?

I am wondering if you go to my child's school.

I am wondering if your parents own handguns or rifles they don't secure properly. And I am wondering if they taught you how to handle them safely as a child and are trusting you to remember those lessons, so you don't shoot yourself or a friend accidentally, tragically.

I am wondering if they every imagined that you would shoot someone on purpose, and that learning how to handle a gun safely wasn't enough.

I am wondering if you have made a plan you're just waiting to carry out. I am wondering if there is a sign or signal you are waiting for.

I am wondering if you have tried to tell your friends and family about your intentions and have they missed the cues.

I am wondering if any of us really know the signs to look for.

I am wondering if there are any signs at all.

I am wondering if you idolize previous mass shooters, see their 'fans' on the Internet and think, I want that for myself.

I am wondering if you walked up to me right now, would I sense anything was off? Would I be able to tell murderous intention from teenage sulky reticence?

I am wondering if you are cruel. I am wondering if you are violent. I am wondering if this will be the first time you injure another human being.

I am wondering whether you're broadcasting your intent on the dark corners of the internet and are people are cheering you on, encouraging you.

I am wondering if your parents know about your struggles and have done everything in their power to help.

I am wondering again if they've locked up their guns.

I am wondering if you understand mortality on more than a superficial level.

I am wondering if we have failed to teach you the value of one human life.

I am wondering if we have failed to teach you how to be kind, and how to accept kindness.

I am wondering if we have simply never said clearly enough that hurting other people is not OK.

I am wondering when you learned, and when you forgot, the lesson about treating others as you would want to be treated.

I am wondering what else on earth could satisfy your blood lust and enable you to solve your problem a different way.

I am wondering if we glamorize villains to our own detriment. I am wondering how many docu-series, documentaries, and 'tortured hero' shows you have watched.

I am wondering if I should have any sympathy for you at all.

I am wondering if you can be stopped.

I am wondering again if you go to my child's school.