Baseball Curses and the Ezer Kenegdo

Being a Red Sox fan is like being Jewish in my family -- you're just born that way, and for my kids, it's been passed down through the mother. Matrilineal Red Sox Fandom.

When my kids were born, in 2001 and 2003, this was bad news. When we got Ben his first little Red Sox cap and onesie, we said, "Sorry to do this to you, kid. You're in for a life of sadness and disappointment."

In those days, the last time the Red Sox had won the World Series was 1918, and since then there had been a string of events that raised the hope of Sox fans so high that the team was known as the Cardiac Kids. "The Curse of the Bambino" was real, and Bucky Dent, Bob Stanley, Mookie Wilson, Bill Buckner and Aaron Boone were verboten. Those who shall not be named. The Red Sox blew it in 1946, 1948, 1949, and most spectacularly in the World Series contests of 1967, 1975, and 1986, when the team was one strike (One Strike!) away from winning it all.

We believed in the curse, and it was a crucial part of our identities as Sox fans. We were beleaguered, persecuted, almost-rans whose hearts had been broken more times than we could count. Faith? Hope? Only for next year.

And then next year came. October 27, 2004. The miracle Red Sox had come back from a 3 games to 0 deficit against the Yankees to make it to the World Series, and they swept the St Louis Cardinals in 4 games. World Champs. The curse was broken. The Boston Globe headline was one jubilant word:

(Although I have mad love for this parody version)

86 years of cursedness. Gone. We had believed, and we had been rewarded. We had hung in there, and we had been rewarded. 

I've got the hats, t-shirts, newspapers, commemorative books, and a million memories from 2004 that will never fade. It was wicked awesome. 

Ezer K'negdo

What I did not realize at the time was that The Curse was our Ezer K'negdo
(עֵזֶר כְּנֶגְדּוֹ) . Our what?

In the second Creation account of Genesis, after God formed man from the dust of the earth and placed him in the garden of Eden, God says, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable (ezer knedgo) for him” (2:18). 

As my rabbi has pointed out, we don't quite get the meaning of ezer knegdo/helpmeet these days. It's not just a partner for life. It's a force you lean against, the person who helps you keep your balance by offering just the right amount of resistance.

Red Sox fans pushed against that damn curse for 86 years, and it pushed right back. There was equilibrium, and we could talk in absolute language. "Always be losers..Always blow it...Always let you down..."

And then they won.

We were knocked off balance and stumbled a bit. Yes, we celebrated. Now what?

In 2005, the Red Sox were...average. They got to the first round of the post-season, where they were swept in three games by the Chicago White Sox, who would go on to win the World Series.

It wasn't The Curse. Teams have their ups and downs, and no one wins the World Series every year. (Not even you, Yankees fans... where's your team tonight?)

Suddenly, we just one of those teams. Sometimes we win it all (2007, 2013) and sometimes we're awful (2015).  We are...

In some ways, and I'll talk about this in other posts, Jews have been through the same journey. Much of the identity of Israel has been that of a persecuted people. The world pushed against us and we always pushed back. After the Holocaust and WWII, we pushed back hard. For some people, that push was their entire Jewish identity. Be Jewish if for no other reason than there are people who don't want you to. That doesn't always work in 2015. The world won't always push back.

I'm rooting for the Cubs to win the World Series this year. I haven't lived their curse (it involves a goat?), but they haven't won the World Series since 1908, and that joy of winning is oh, so sweet. Besides, watching history being made is cool, and that Back to the Future 2 connection is just too perfect.

Watch out for the fall, though, Cubs fans. If you lose, you get to keep being curse, and keep cursing your bad luck. If the Cubs win, you might end up missing your ezer knegdo when you end up in the "just another team that won it..." bucket with the rest of us.

Either way, I think you win.

Prayers for a Shabbat of Peace

Most days, I'm not much of a pray-er, and I don't believe in a version of God that answers prayers. But I do appreciate the power of turning your heart and your thoughts to something, someone, or someplace in need. 

On this shabbat, that place is Israel.

As we read through the book of Bereshit (Genesis) in our weekly Torah study, we are closing in on the stories of the first of our ancestors to set a place for themselves in Israel. 

Abraham purchases a tomb for his beloved Sarah. 

Their grandson Jacob will literally become Israel when he wrestles with a mysterious man in the desert. 

And Joseph, the dream-reader, will ask that his bones be returned to Israel. The Hebrews carry them with them until Joshua fulfills Joseph's wish:

לב  וְאֶת-עַצְמוֹת יוֹסֵף אֲשֶׁר-הֶעֱלוּ בְנֵי-יִשְׂרָאֵל מִמִּצְרַיִם, קָבְרוּ בִשְׁכֶם, בְּחֶלְקַת הַשָּׂדֶה אֲשֶׁר קָנָה יַעֲקֹב מֵאֵת בְּנֵי-חֲמוֹר אֲבִי-שְׁכֶם, בְּמֵאָה קְשִׂיטָה; וַיִּהְיוּ לִבְנֵי-יוֹסֵף, לְנַחֲלָה.

32 And the bones of Joseph, which the children of Israel brought up out of Egypt, buried they in Shechem, in the parcel of ground which Jacob bought of the sons of Hamor the father of Shechem for a hundred pieces of money; and they became the inheritance of the children of Joseph.

(Joshua 24:32)

Yesterday, October 15, 2015 (3 Cheshvan 5776) Joseph's tomb was set ablaze by the fires of rage, anger, and hatred. 

(News story from Jewish Telegraphic Agency: http://www.jta.org/2015/10/16/news-opinion/israel-middle-east/josephs-tomb-set-on-fire-ahead-of-palestinian-day-of-rage)

So this week, I pray. I never particularly resonated with the "traditional" Prayer for the State of Israel that was part of my childhood siddurim (prayer books). It was written in 1948 by the Chief Rabbinate of Israel, who was sincere and thoughtful, but no poet.

That prayer is here:

Our Father who is in heaven, Protector and Redeemer of Israel, bless the State of Israel, the dawn of our deliverance. Shield it beneath the wings of Your love; spread over it Your canopy of peace; send Your light and Your truth to its leaders, officers, and counselors, and direct them with Your good counsel.

 Strengthen the defenders of our Holy Land; grant them, our God, salvation and crown them with victory. Establish peace in the land, and everlasting joy for its inhabitants. Remember our brethren, the whole house of Israel, in all the lands of their dispersion. Speedily bring them to Zion, Your city, to Jerusalem Your dwelling-place, as it is written in the Torah of Your servant Moses:

 “Even if you are dispersed in the uttermost parts of the world, from there the Lord your God will gather and fetch you. The Lord your God will bring you into the land which your ancestors possessed, and you shall possess it; and God will make you more prosperous and more numerous than your ancestors.”

 Unite our hearts to love and revere Your name, and to observe all the precepts of Your Torah. Speedily send us Your righteous Messiah of the House of David, to redeem those waiting for Your salvation. Shine forth in Your glorious majesty over all the inhabitants of Your world. Let everything that breathes proclaim: “The Lord God of Israel is King; His majesty rules over all.” Amen. Selah.

I offer these two prayers in its place....and a song

The first was written by Karyn D Kedar, author, poet, rabbi. We read this version at Ben's bar mitzvah instead of the traditional one above.

The second is not about Israel at all (at least on its face). It's an anti-war poem by e.e.cummings, one of the most innovative poets of the 20th century and a personal favorite of mine. Read more about him here.

1.  A Prayer for Peace and Strength

-Rabbi Karyn D. Kedar, senior rabbi of Congregation BJBE in Deerfield, IL

Holy One of blessing,
we pray for the soldiers
who are called to defend the people of Israel.
Keep them safe. 

When they are weary
give them strength.

When they are scared give them courage.
May they find strength and faith in the days ahead.

Holy One of blessing,
we pray for the people of Israel
who long to live under your canopy of peace.
Keep them safe. When they are threatened
protect them from harm.

When they are wounded and bereaved
grant them healing and comfort.
May they find strength and courage in the days ahead.

May our voices carry prayers of hope
that the people of Israel know that they are not alone.

Dear God,
give us strength
and know that there is nothing more sacred than peace.

Grant us dear God,
Faith. Courage. Wisdom. 

2. i carry your heart with me

-- e.e. cummings

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in my heart)i am never without it(anywhere i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done by only me is your doing,my darling) i fear no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true) and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant and whatever a sun will always sing is you here is the deepest secret nobody knows (here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide) and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

3. Yehi Shalom, as sung by Neshama Carlebach

	יהי שלום בחילך שלווה בארמנותיך
Yehi shalom becheylech shalva b'armenotayich Peace be within your walls, prosperit​y within your palaces

Parsha Noach -- Questions, not answers.

This Week's Parsha -- Noach, the Flood, Rebuilding

1. Possible topics to write about Parsha Noah = too numerable to list
2. Wanting to write about women but finding almost no named women in the parsha = disappointing
3. Searching google images for "Noah's Flood" = priceless.

Think of the images we usually see of the worldwide flood in Genesis. There are cute, kid-friendly versions.

Slightly more realistic portrayals that graduate from the nursery:

But what if they looked like this instead?

Or this?

Or these poor animals:

(Something interesting about God's names. Yud-hey-vav-hey (Adonai) is used when God is issuing the decree for destruction, but Elokim "remembered Noach" floating on the ark.)

8:1 What happened to the raven? Did it really just keep flying and flying while the earth dried out? Poor birdie... And why was the raven the one who wanders and the dove the one who brings back proof of a happy ending? What did biblical authors know about ravens and doves that I don't know?

8:21 God promises not to destroy everything again..."for the impulse of man's heart is evil from his youth." So the reason for never sending another flood is the reason He sent the flood in the first place? 

9:9 God has a covenant "with every living creature". Why do we not emphasize this verse more? It seems critically important to how we view ourselves and the rest of the trillions of creatures on the planet.

9:13 Are we sure a "bow" is a rainbow? I immediately thought of a bow/arrow...not a promise but a warning. Is it both -- the weapon turned into a sign of peace? 

9:16 Repetition of the covenant with "every living thing" Repetition in Torah is important, yes?

9:18 The incident with Noach's nakedness and Ham seeing it.
1st -- these people all lived on an ark together for over a year. You cannot convince me that the men didn't see each other naked.
2nd -- Maybe Ham was drunk, too?
3rd -- Isn't part of the sin Noach's? He got so drunk that he passed out half naked...and Ham gets the curse?

The incident does prove, though, what God was saying in 8:21. The first words out of Noah's mouth in the entire parsha are a curse, a curse that changes the course of history for so many...

Wait. What? We're Still Banning Books?

You wanna step outside, Beulah?

Field of Dreams is in my Top 5 Favorite Movies of All Time. Heck, it's probably in the Top 3. or 2.

First, there are a ton of great quotes:

Is this heaven?
No. It's Iowa.
Iowa? I cold have sworn this was heaven.

Son, if I'd only gotten to be a doctor for five minutes... now that would have been a tragedy

You're a pacifist!

Hey Dad...you wanna have a catch?

Second, there are two amazing speeches. This one about baseball brings me to tears, and I wept openly and without shame when I went to the Louisville Slugger museum and heard James Earl Jones narrate the tour's intro movie.

:

Sadly, it's this speech that is relevant to today's blog post.

Check out this headline from yesterday. Yesterday!

Click here to read the full article, but the summary is pretty quick. 

One parent complained about "sexual content," so Superintendent Joseph Langowski apparently ordered teachers to remove the book immediately, without regard for district policy. 

To which I say:

My Kids Read Banned Books

I used to struggle with what to let my kids read. Ellie waited a lot longer than many of her friends to read "The Hunger Games," fr example.

I've changed my view on the topic, and my kids are now free to read pretty much any book they want. In fact, during Banned Book Week last month, I offered to buy Ellie and Ben any book on the "Most Challenged YA Books" list she wanted. Without hesitation, she chose John Green's Looking for Alaska, The very same book that was banned unilaterally by a district superintendent in New Jersey yesterday. (Yesterday!)

What changed?

1. I remembered what I was reading when I was in middle school, and I turned out mostly OK. 

Anne Rice's Interview with a Vampire series

Jackie Collins

"Bodice ripper" historical romances I nicked from my mom's shelves

Judy Blume's Forever and Are you There God, It's Me, Margaret

Go Ask Alice

Elie Wiesel's Night series

Time-Life Books on WWII

Anne Frank's Diary

(Everything about the Holocaust I could find)

Alive Walker's The Color Purple

Stephen King

Robin Cook

Dean Koontz

Ray Bradbury

... and a non-Disneyfied collection of fairy tales that I've since passed along to my own kids.

2. I read a few articles and heard a story on NPR about how "kids these days" don't read enough "hard" books*. Not "hard" in terms of challenging vocabulary and syntax, but difficult in terms of complex emotions, story-lines, situations, and conclusions.

I scoffed. Not my kids! But then I realized that my kid's library, especially when they were younger, was largely filled with "The world is wonderful, and you are wonderful, and everyone is happy, and life is not complicated!" books. And I'd been holding the reins pretty tight as they got older. As a mother, I didn't want them to be upset by a book. I wanted them to see that things work out.

Oops.

Not every ending is happy. I learned so much from watching Katherine go through her very first love and sexual experience with Michael in Judy Blume's Forever. She fell in love hard, made a decision that she couldn't take back, got her heart broken, and she survived it all. I rode the roller coaster with her, and thought "If she can do it, I can do it."

Kids need to find themselves in books and see how their fictional peers react to a wide range of complex situations. Then they can ask themselves, "Would I have done that?" "Should I do that?" "I'm go glad I'm not the only one to have done that."

Life lessons are tough to learn -- why not learn some of them by letting fictional character make the bad choices and live out the consequences?

3. We can keep reading together and share genuine interest.

4. It's private.

I never (ever!) would have had a conversation about sex with my mother as open as the one I had with Judy Blume. Remember "Go Ask Alice?" How many of us had conversations that real about drug use in the Just Say No 80s?

The most challenged/banned book in the past 10 years is Sherman Alexie's The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian. One of the main reasons it's challenged? It mentions that the main character -- a 12-year-old boy -- masturbates. And he likes it. Gasp! I love Sherman Alexie, and I love that book, and both my kids have read it, but we didn't have family chats about those scenes. There must be a place to read, learn, and think about mature issues in private. 

5. Books are Magic

Every book is a T.A.R.D.I.S., a time machine that can travel back and forth and through imaginations and dimensions and species -- and no matter where it takes you, or how uncomfortable you are when you get there, that world ends at the book's covers. You always end up safe at home, better or having gone through the journey. 

If you're lucky, your supper will be waiting for you, still hot.

*Article links

Should Children's Books Have Happy Endings? (The Guardian)

Children's Books Do Not Need Happy Endings (Telegraph)

The Gift of an Unhappy Ending (The Danish Way)

The Last Rose of Summer

One of my favorite musicians (Keller Williams) is running a content on his Facebook page. Winner gets some great perks for his upcoming show in Denver.

The contest is simple: Post a picture, quote, video, or something else that shows how you feel about fall.

This is my entry.

The Last Rose of Summer

This
is the very last rose of the season.
It's going to fall soon,
but what a gift that it will be
munched up
snowed on
decomposed
recomposed
and made into a spring rosebud.
All we have to do is wait. 






(I've also been listening a lot to Elvis Costello's "Might Like a Rose" quite a lot lately. Full album on YouTube here.)